Filling Up

Lately, the old distractions aren't working.
Last week, I tried to watch TV.
But its sedative effects weren't hooking me.

I tucked myself in early.

Out of habit, I connect to the stream of updates - Facebook, NYT, etc.

But the updates leave me empty.



Finger is so used to clicking



What do I do now? Answer: Just lie here, without thinking or entertainment.



Phantom clicking in my finger



After a bit, I sink into it.
Forgot how I love the feeling of 'listening' to breath in my belly.
So comforting. Everything is softer.

It felt like this supersonic power source.

As much as I could breathe in. Like a huge tube into my belly.

Has it always been there and I just click over it?

(Also syndicated on BlogHer)

Why I'm Not a Farmer's Market Person

I went to the farmer's market yesterday. I left stressed and annoyed.
Here's why.

1. Overhyped Coffee

The line for Blue Bottle coffee (they make one cup at a time) was ridiculously long.

I waited for farmer's market coffee once and nearly had a stroke, micromanaging the barista's time with my evil eye, waiting for 2+ minutes for my single cup. AND I couldn't taste a difference. 

2.  It's really expensive.

I ended up buying potatoes but I was sort of mad at myself. Like I'd become a sellout.

My grocery store has a beautiful selection of locally sourced organic produce. So why was I not shopping there instead?

3. Not designed for shopping.

No baskets, no counter space, no personal space. People were getting slightly aggro at the checkout.

4. Final reason

Sunday morning in Oakland

While walking my dog I saw a young black guy coming up behind us. Fast. I was about 25% alarmed.

I matched my dog's lollygagging pace, and the guy passed us. Watching his back, I put myself in a sympathetic mode. He kept looking back at us. He seemed anxious. I breathed three breaths for him.

Now about a half block ahead, he turned around.

All of a sudden, he seemed concerned about me. It was like we just built a minute of community.

Just a blister