Thursday, March 3, 2011

Traffic Jam Between the Heart and Head

What were my patterns that I wanted to change? I had to be crafty here, because when I asked myself this question, my brain had some go-to answers. 

However, the instantaneous, gut 'knowing' I've experienced during yoga has expanded my catalog of data points.

Twists are especially good for squeezing out epiphanies.
So when a friend suggested I get some special bodywork done with the  intent of removing blocks, it made sense to me.  It wasn't as woo-woo as I'd hoped - just talking and then some massage. I mostly felt softer but didn't feel like I 'heard' anything new.

It just made me aware of my throat. 

My throat felt aggro. 

After that, my relaxation remained though occasionally my throat would start to sizzle on the sides. 
So I started to observe what started the sizzling.

Some examples:

Bikram instructors who wanted me to do poses that my body knew weren't right to do. 

As well as meeting demands set by others. 

Not that either one of these should make me homicidal. They were just symptoms that I didn't feel like I had enough authority in my life.