Sunday, September 30, 2012

The Toothpaste of Honesty. and the Fire

Drawing is one of my favorite things, but I have to make time to do it.
I sit down early in the morning with a blank page and then 'see' what appears in the white.

But sometimes it feels like a wave and I am a panicky surfer.

Reasons why:

The contractual deal between the drawings and me is that I accept what comes through. And it's probably good for me, but it's not always awesome. It's like some delicious Detox Tea that sometimes makes me feel better, and sometimes not.

And once I've drawn something, and acknowledged a truth I may have peripherally or begrudgingly known, it now exists.  No unknowing it now...

* * *

So the toothpaste? (Stay with me as I switch metaphors) The toothpaste from the truth tube is out now. I can either throw it away or I can use it. I choose to use it, and explore a bit more. I toss it onto the fire from whence the toothpaste (?) originally came. 

And just when the fire is getting exciting.....

It's time to blend into situations that aren't about the toothpaste of honesty. But the fire continues to simmer, whether I like it or not.


Okay. I'll just acknowledge the obvious in date stamps. It's been almost a year.

Without sounding navel-gazey or self-important, my drawings in the last year have been more personal, which is kind of my shtick, but there's a fine line between personal (interesting! relatable!) and self-indulgent (my own personal problems are so interesting). Don't get me wrong, I am filling up journals like crazy with drawings that make sense to me, and help me make sense of things. But I feel like in order to cross the chasm from I-get-it to You-get-it-too, there's some forging I need to do. And I haven't felt like forging.

But in the last week, a couple of you have written and asked 'what's up with the blog?' I appreciate it. I'm taking it as a kick in the ass to start posting again (I didn't realize it until today but I kind of missed it). So let's see if there's anything to forge...